Have a Vision for Your Marriage & Family

"We are going to uplift and build ALL the members of our family."

I wish I could say that is my family's mission statement, but it's not. It actually belongs to a friend of mine who has been struggling with his anger for years. It was the moment he created this mission statement that I saw his life transformed. In an instant, he had purpose. He sought counseling on his own, and is making great progress.

Olivia and I are preparing to give a talk for a local Mothers of Preschoolers group (M.O.P.S.) about healthy marriages using our own story and the lessons we have learned in twelve years of marriage. One of the points we will share is how we have a shared vision for our marriage and family.

Sometimes, we don't need to look further than our own vows to find a vision for
marriage and family. This is our marriage covenant from the fifth or sixth
FamilyLife Weekend to Remember Marriage Getaway
we've attended. Asked our kids to witness this one.

We knew before I ever asked Liv to marry me that we would take our marriage vows seriously, better or worse, sickness and in health, richer or poorer. This meant that we were committing ourselves to each other for the long haul for a happy and healthy marriage. Those same vows also mean that we understood life is hard. There would definitely be challenges, too. It is our shared vision for the long-term marriage relationship that drives how we face those challenges together.

There's a shared vision on money. That took a few painful years to develop. The sooner you're on the same page with your spouse on money the better. Preferably, before you get married. If you can have those heart-to-heart money talks before marriage, you'll have no problem having them when you're married.

We have a shared vision on how we want to raise our children, how to handle discipline, and how our behaviors model a healthy marriage for them.

While Olivia and I were dating, we talked a lot about the type of family we wanted, the type of marriage we wanted, and the things we absolutely did not want in our marriage. Divorce was at the top of the list for both of us. We still talk about these types of things thirteen years later (For those trying to reconcile the math, we dated for almost a year before we married.) Our challenge to ourselves is to put our vision for our family into a statement similar to our friend's. We have our marriage covenant, which is displayed by the door leading to our bedroom, but we are impressed by our friend's one-sentence mission and vision statement.

I bet many couples stop talking about their futures as a couple. That invites a rift to form between a couple leading to isolation from each other. In the same way that my friend put a stake in the ground, I invite you to do the same if you haven't already. Be proactive and intentional in your relationship with your spouse.

What is your vision for your family? If you have a mission statement, what is it? Comment below.

Coming Soon: Episode #3 of Family Time Q&A - Husband-Wife Q&A.

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